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Boo hiss [Oct. 3rd, 2008|10:48 pm]
Purging a journal takes forever. I may just give up. I didn't even hit high school :P I'm actually a bit curious if I wrote anything about Kristen back then. I don't remember that time very well. May be worth checking up on at some point though, just for curiosity and nostalgia if nothing else. Although I've come to the conclusion that I didn't grow more bitter as the years went by, I just grew more apathetic. I swore a lot more back then too but the apathy was the big one. I'm bored with this thought now.

I actually was rather concerned with ADD for the whole period I was taking those psychological tests and I don't even remember that. I'm a bit curious if they'd find anything now that they can't chalk it all up to childhood trauma, although that was way too expensive to do again.


Exam season is coming up. College so far has been... well... I'm inclined to say easier although I'm not sure if that's the right word. It's, to the most part, more applicable to life, so I'm having an easier time grasping the concepts. It's impossible to compare job analysis to change blindness (which I know about but still can't really explain) so there's really no point. Now watch as I run into the exams and come out the other side battered and bleeding, although I tend to be a pessimist so I suppose that kind of thought is normal ;)

I had a conversation with Andrae the other day about the beliefs society shapes into us and religion. He is a religion person with a strong internal belief in God and I find myself incredibly jealous of that. There's so much doubt in reality, it'd be nice to have sureness in something.

I miss music. It was a fun aspect of my life and I want it back. I think that might be what's felt like it was missing all this time, although there's so little time these days.
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Dreams [Sep. 22nd, 2008|02:40 pm]

So I'll preface this with an introduction. Yes, an introduction to a dream thread. What I had last night very much caught me off guard largely because in general, I have lame dreams. Dreams where nothing happens. Dreams where I'll wake up and get dressed and go to class. Dreams where I'll play a bad video game. Often I also have dreams about assignments being late, being late for classes, tests, midterms, exams, missing important events in life, basically panic events. I have, on a fairly regular basis, confused real life for a dream and needed to find physical confirmation about which was true and which was a figment of my imagination. At any rate, my dreams usually are realisticish. and so I present you with:

I can't remember too much of the early stuff. There was a serial murder case rolling around that myself and two colleagues were trying to solve (one male, one female, can't identify either). We were invited to eat dinner with someone. He was respectable and not really a suspect, but I don't remember exactly what his role was. Possibly a police officer or something of that ilk. At any rate, we go there, eat, and the topic of the serial murderer comes up. The guy seems fairly calm at first but eventually goes ballistic. He eventually has (spontaneously, because this is a dream and that is not only allowed but doesn't seem particularly jarring) something to threaten our lives (acknowledged by the feeling impending doom, rather than anything actual. Again, it's a dream, so feelings control reality). He turned to the other guy and told him to put on a shirt that he had with him now. The guy put it on and the other guy who is now presumably the serial killer told him to say things relating to how his name was [the serial killer's name, which I actually knew when I woke up in the morning but waited until now to post so I don't know it anymore. What we had to say was also fresh in my memory when I woke up but it's gone now]. He turned to me and had me do the same thing. Eventually he left the room, and we found a way to escape... sort of.

The next part of my dream consisted of partly playing and partly being in (sort of simultaneously being at the wheel of a portable console and being the main character of the game at the same time. Basically, I felt inside the game, but also playing the game, a kind of feeling of internal and external aspects of it). Myself and the two people I had been with were playing this, and there was an impending feeling of escape while doing this. I didn't know exactly how I got there but I knew that that was how would escape from the guy's house. The game was sort of mario-esque side scrolling platformer, and the serial killer was chasing inside the game. I ended up way ahead but died in the game part way through and got sent to a check point way back. The other two kept going but the serial killer was catching up to them. Or catching up to me. I don't remember who but I had that feeling of "oh shit oh shit oh shit". This was when I woke up.


Actually, I woke up part way through, but it was still 5:00 in the morning so I went back to sleep and fell into the same dream. When I woke up this time, I walked around a bit to get my mind off of it before going back to bed. At both times where I woke up, there was a feeling of sheer terror, followed by calming down and getting a grip on reality and then returning to bed.

and if that all felt incoherent to you, I'll have to know it does now to me too! A large part of my dreams tends to be revealed to me in how I feel rather than what actually happens, which makes recounting them incredibly difficult.

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It's not french toast! [Aug. 27th, 2008|12:53 pm]

LJ likes to move my typing cursor (is it a cursor) on me. It doesn't happen often but it's a bit of a nuisance.

Geek



So I'm amused. When I hit post, I got a message akin to "LJ has remembered what you last typed a few days ago (creeeepy) and can restore that. Would you like it?" to which I promptly replied yes and I was greeted with the above text. Yes, it stopped at Geek. I'm not sure why.

I joined an EotS last night where we had already 3capped the enemy team and were on our way to the fourth. The only thought that came to mind was "Oh my god, we're actually winning and I didn't even have to do anything. Is it my birthday?" Yes, it was in fact past midnight, although I didn't actually mean the question literally.

I have nothing more to report. Go home.

Oh, actually, I went to my orientation yesterday. Long story short, apparently the workload is on the magnitude of big, participation is a must and I'm going to spend the next 8 months seeing the same ~39ish other people about 30 hours a week, so I'd better get used to them. They seem friendly at least.

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Whimpering Lump Count: 1 [Aug. 25th, 2008|02:07 pm]

So I'm back in Brampton. There's so much yelling 0.o

As of yet, I've discovered I'm so out of touch with things here that I don't even have any idea how out of touch it is that I really think I am. I wanted to start getting caught up with people, so I started with Braendli since I haven't talked to him in quite a long time. I discovered that, to my shock, he had joined the army, and suffered quite a nasty wound from some of the training. I thought back to my past with him and this I honestly didn't see coming. He never seemed the army type to me. He was always so cheerful, enjoyed his puns, never seemed the type to get into something quite so... serious I guess. I always pictured him in a more bubbly future, but there it was.

So last night, I met up with Simon and a few other people. As it turns out, it was his brother that I was talking to. Yes, they share a last name :P I'm not actually even sure how he got onto my MSN list since I've met him... once maybe? Regardless, Simon is still Simon and I haven't lost my mind. No really. We talked about it (his brother was there too to help clear up the confusion) and his brother had thought I was someone else too. The identifying questions we'd asked one another were fairly ambiguous. The thing that really amuses me is that at one point, he mentioned he was setting up a D&D short with his brother and some friends. I asked who they were and he said I probably wouldn't know them. As it turns out, his "brother" was, in fact Simon, and those friends he spoke of were the people I grew up with :P

Concluding statement!

and Simon B, you owe me one internet. Get to it.

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Moo [Aug. 19th, 2008|04:21 am]
Heading back to Bramladesh soon so I've been thinking of showing blogging a little more love. Although I also wanted to start anew but didn't want to bother getting a new friends list and all that so I'm very slowly purging my old entries. If anyone knows an easy way to do this, that information would be appreciated ^-^

Random news fact, I finally beat Abyssian (on hard). It took me 20 Apple gels, 20 Lemon gels, 20 Melange gels, 20 Miracles gels, 15 Life bottles, 5 elixirs, 5 Energy tablets, 4 Pineapple gels, 2 Spirit bottles. That was brutal. Moving on then.

Ciao ;)

Here's a random link!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua6pbz3ROvQ
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One more thing... [Sep. 15th, 2002|07:54 pm]
I'm doing that whole friends only thing that some people do. Damage due to stupid people reading this and misinterpreting my entries has recently been at an all time high so I've decided the only safe thing to do is to monitor who's reading it. If you'd like me to add you, just e-mail me at scapegoat_5@hotmail.com ^_^
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Pass it on... [Aug. 6th, 2002|05:31 pm]
http://www.petitiononline.com/delwin04/petition.html
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Grr... [Aug. 4th, 2002|12:29 am]
If you read my journal regularly and aren't logged on then do so, I have an important message for those who do on friends-levels security. All entries will now be in either friends or private for any who care (unless I forget to set it).
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So (!!!) much fun ;) [Aug. 1st, 2002|03:43 pm]
Well, today I was thinking, I'm gonna play AC for some of the morning, get off at noon. I ended up getting off just now. Why?? I met some really amazingly wonderful people online and we had loads of fun!! =) I love online people =) After making an attempt to kill the white rabbit (who blatantly slaughtered two of us after the "runner" stopped running) we decided to get our flags. =) This was a long drawn out quest where everyone (except for me 'cause I'm *that* good ;) died multiple times. When it came time to get our flags... mine screwed up and I didn't get one ='( I traded a while bunch with someone though and got it so I was happy =) We went back eventually because someone inscribed a flag and gave it to someone else but the someone else wanted to get rid of the inscription =) Too much fun. Probably sounds pretty boring and doesn't make much sense but oh my god was it a blast!! =) Spent a lot of time mocking each other too ;)
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What the hell?!? [Jul. 30th, 2002|01:14 am]
Alright, this is fucked up. First, I can't wait for school to end for summer to come. Now, I can't wait for summer to end. I don't want school to come but summer sucks ass too. So what the hell am I waiting for?!?
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